When To Say "I Do"

One of the most popular questions I get asked is "how did you know Jenna was the one?" I have many answers to this question and the first answer, you will not like. Right from the start, our motto was "when you know, you know." Even Meagan, Jenna's maid of honor, said that about us at our wedding reception. For most people it seems to happen that way, and some people take longer to figure it out than others. I've known couples to date for as many as ten years and as little as three months before getting married. I can't really explain it and I haven't found one single person who can, but when you know, you know.

There will be some cases though that it doesn't happen in a moment. For me, whether you think I'm crazy or not, I knew I was going to marry Jenna from our very first date. Please do not expect that to happen for you, or think that something is wrong with you if it doesn't. This is very much a God-thing. He is the one calling the shots on the lives of His children and if you trust Him, He will direct your path.

Another answer I would give relates to my first post when I said love is a choice. I would say that it isn't wise to "trust your instincts" when it comes to marriage. Jeremiah tells us that our hearts are deceitfully wicked. Don't follow your heart because as my theology professor Dr. Wicks taught: "Your heart only wants to kill you." Seriously, seek the Lord earnestly about your future spouse whether you're single, dating or even engaged. This is supposed to be a once in a lifetime thing, so make it count. Decide that you will be able to love this person for the rest of your life even when you don't feel like it.

It might even help for you to sit down and weigh out your pro's and con's of the relationship. Really sit down and think about the good, bad and ugly of your relationship with your significant other and decide if it would be wise to get married. Common sense is often a key factor in getting married. There are many situations where two people know they want to get married but the timing is not right. That's where this method comes in handy.

Think about it. If you have $5 in your bank account and right now you live paycheck to paycheck, it probably isn't a good idea to add your $5 to her $5 and say you'll live on love and faith. God wants us to trust Him, but He also gave us a brain so we can use it.

Those are just a few thoughts on this subject so that I could keep it short. Trust me, I really could talk about this forever. So if you want to talk about it more, come talk to me or Jenna in person. We really would love to talk to you about it. But remember that marriage, next to salvation is the most important decision you will ever make, so don't just wing it. Don't just trust your feelings because they will deceive you. Pray hard and I'm telling you that when God reveals to you who and when to get married, you'll know without a doubt. Stay in the Word and in communication with Him. It will all be in His time.